Saturday, 28 February 2015

REVEALED: Blue and black dress was white and gold all along

In a shocking twist to the weekend’s viral obsession over the colours of a seemingly innocent dress, it’s been revealed that the whole thing was a scam orchestrated by the illuminati.

A mystery source has revealed that the photograph of a dress which appeared to some viewers to be white and gold and to others to be blue and black was the latest in a series of manoeuvres by our secret overlords designed to make us feel helpless about absolutely everything.

“Primarily, this is done through the news media,” the unnamed person said. “Stories giving completely contrasting 'factual' accounts about an issue are carefully timed to a Fibonacci sequence, leaving viewers unable to reach an informed conclusion.  The end result is that people fall back on what they want to be true and cite articles consistent with this view to back up their arguments.  It’s a hi-tech version of ‘divide and rule’: everyone’s so busy arguing with each other that no-one notices the secret power hierarchy and what it’s up to.”

And the dress?  It was white and gold all along.  Knowing that the seemingly innocent initial post would go viral and that the vast majority of people would see the colours as they really were, illuminati puppet-masters then 3D printed a blue and black version of the dress to be modelled for the media.  “All they want is confusion,” said the secret source.  “A population that can’t even agree on what colours they are looking at is ready to be led by the nostrils into anything.  You probably didn’t even notice that the footage of the blue and black dress was actually shot in Second Life.  That’s how gullible you are.”

In other news unlikely to be read, reports that the blue and black dress was white and gold all along have been found to be untrue.

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